Addiction
Pain, Repackaged as a Bet
Apr 02, 2025
“Every gambler tells himself his object is to win, but his true object may be the avoidance of pain. Playing and losing is better than not playing. Winning is better than losing, sure, but only because it allows the gambler to keep playing.”
Stung-The Incredible Obsession of Brian Molony
Gary Stephen Ross
Stung-The Incredible Obsession of Brian Molony
Gary Stephen Ross
RFK, Jr. on Addiction, Isolation and Connection
Feb 13, 2025
“I think it’s the same thing, you know, most addicts like myself feel like, I feel like I was born an addict…these impulses are biologically hardwired into us, and whether you feel that way or you feel you became an addict or an alcoholic later on in life, the only way to overcome that biological impulse is with a spiritual realignment, a spiritual fire…and that comes from a connectedness to community. Alcoholism and addiction are diseases of isolation. People end up in jails and institutions and dead or in bathrooms by themselves or insulated by secrets, they withdraw from the community and from connectedness. The process of getting sober is the process of reconnecting to community.”
Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. speaking to Laura Ingraham about spirituality and hope for the struggling, on February 13, 2025 following his confirmation as the U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services
Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. speaking to Laura Ingraham about spirituality and hope for the struggling, on February 13, 2025 following his confirmation as the U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services
The House Edge
Dec 04, 2024
Addiction is the ultimate house edge, always playing the long game. Even when you think you’re up, walking away a winner, it waits—silent, patient, and calculating. Then, at the worst possible moment, it shows its hand, a crooked smile on its face, and takes it all back with interest. No matter how good you think you’re doing, the odds are always stacked in its favor, and in the end, it never misses its chance to be triumphant once more.
The Lady
Sep 22, 2024
…"Users call cocaine ‘the lady.’ The lady has a widespread acceptance in the best of circles. However, those of us who are—or were—hooked can tell you it's no lady. And until I am cured, I consider myself hooked. Even now, talking about it makes me want it. I can feel the familiar signals going through my body, making my heart beat faster.”Don Reese from June 14, 1982 issue of Sports Illustrated
Wooed by the Wire: A Story of Suspended Sanity
Apr 21, 2024
by DV
Let’s agree on the notion that being hooked on one thing is pretty much like being hooked on another; the mind of an addict doesn't really care about the specifics. Hold that thought while I draw you a picture with a story that mirrors the addict's perilous dance between safety and self-destruction.
I watched a documentary called “Man On Wire” about high-wire artist Philippe Petit. Petit, a Frenchman, achieved worldwide acclaim for being somewhat of an artistic vandal in that he staged unauthorized high-wire walks in the 1970’s. His greatest accomplishment was on the early morning of August 7, 1974, as he walked between the very top of the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, 1,350 feet above the streets of downtown Manhattan. I remember listening to the news report on the radio as I was getting ready for school and immediately thought, “That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard of.” Maybe it still is.
In the documentary (which I highly recommend), Petit is being interviewed and describes the moment of truth—the instant before his wire walk—that chills the spine. He stands there, one foot rooted in the safety of the skyscraper, the other teetering over the expanse on a wire thin as hope.
“And I had to make a decision,
...of shifting my weight from one foot anchored to the building...
...to the foot anchored on the wire.
This is probably... I don’t know... probably the end of my life to step on that wire.
And on the other hand, something that I could not resist...
...and I didn’t make any effort to resist, called me upon that cable.
And death is very close.”
Wow, what a great description! He has one foot in a safe place, and the other on something that all reason says will bring death. He knows this, yet he cannot resist as that cable is wooing him upon it. Addiction may not have been in his dictionary, but he was giving an inadvertent perfect picture of it and the lengths an addict would go to fill his emptiness.
To me personally, I have been in a zombie-like trance, hearing that cable calling my name, and made no effort to stand firm. All I could see, and wanted to see, was what that wire represented, without any thought of the fall from grace that lay just below it. Can you imagine?
The movie documents the great pains he endured and the elaborate plans made to pull off this mission he referred to as “Le Coup.” As I watched each step of the caper, I placed myself into it as the lead character since I had parallel efforts toward my own high-wire dances without a net, a gamble where the stakes were my very life. I’m an addict.
Let’s agree on the notion that being hooked on one thing is pretty much like being hooked on another; the mind of an addict doesn't really care about the specifics. Hold that thought while I draw you a picture with a story that mirrors the addict's perilous dance between safety and self-destruction.
I watched a documentary called “Man On Wire” about high-wire artist Philippe Petit. Petit, a Frenchman, achieved worldwide acclaim for being somewhat of an artistic vandal in that he staged unauthorized high-wire walks in the 1970’s. His greatest accomplishment was on the early morning of August 7, 1974, as he walked between the very top of the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, 1,350 feet above the streets of downtown Manhattan. I remember listening to the news report on the radio as I was getting ready for school and immediately thought, “That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard of.” Maybe it still is.
In the documentary (which I highly recommend), Petit is being interviewed and describes the moment of truth—the instant before his wire walk—that chills the spine. He stands there, one foot rooted in the safety of the skyscraper, the other teetering over the expanse on a wire thin as hope.
“And I had to make a decision,
...of shifting my weight from one foot anchored to the building...
...to the foot anchored on the wire.
This is probably... I don’t know... probably the end of my life to step on that wire.
And on the other hand, something that I could not resist...
...and I didn’t make any effort to resist, called me upon that cable.
And death is very close.”
Wow, what a great description! He has one foot in a safe place, and the other on something that all reason says will bring death. He knows this, yet he cannot resist as that cable is wooing him upon it. Addiction may not have been in his dictionary, but he was giving an inadvertent perfect picture of it and the lengths an addict would go to fill his emptiness.
To me personally, I have been in a zombie-like trance, hearing that cable calling my name, and made no effort to stand firm. All I could see, and wanted to see, was what that wire represented, without any thought of the fall from grace that lay just below it. Can you imagine?
The movie documents the great pains he endured and the elaborate plans made to pull off this mission he referred to as “Le Coup.” As I watched each step of the caper, I placed myself into it as the lead character since I had parallel efforts toward my own high-wire dances without a net, a gamble where the stakes were my very life. I’m an addict.
Levels of Insanity
Mar 20, 2024
by DV
Rock-Bottom Insanity:
I’m going to jump in my car and drive 100 MPH down LBJ Freeway because that’s what I’m addicted to.
Reasonable Insanity:
On the next good weather day, I’m going to go check the air in my tires, clean my windows, put on my helmet and gloves then jump in my car and drive 100 MPH down LBJ Freeway because that’s what I’m addicted to.
Do you see the difference? The first is a zombie-like state of rock-bottom insane addiction; all I can see is my addiction, and I want it now. The second is just a little more patient – I do want it now, but I’m willing to wait till tomorrow. Perhaps this is the very last stop before that destination we call: “The Twilight Zone”. I want as much safety in my self-destruction as possible because I still have one brain cell remaining. Thank God somebody grabbed my car keys.
Rock-Bottom Insanity:
I’m going to jump in my car and drive 100 MPH down LBJ Freeway because that’s what I’m addicted to.
Reasonable Insanity:
On the next good weather day, I’m going to go check the air in my tires, clean my windows, put on my helmet and gloves then jump in my car and drive 100 MPH down LBJ Freeway because that’s what I’m addicted to.
Do you see the difference? The first is a zombie-like state of rock-bottom insane addiction; all I can see is my addiction, and I want it now. The second is just a little more patient – I do want it now, but I’m willing to wait till tomorrow. Perhaps this is the very last stop before that destination we call: “The Twilight Zone”. I want as much safety in my self-destruction as possible because I still have one brain cell remaining. Thank God somebody grabbed my car keys.
A Letter From Us to Your Wife
Dec 21, 2023
by CD
Dear Mrs. X,
I hope this note finds you well. You might sometimes wonder what exactly your husband is up to on Tuesday evenings. I'm writing to share a bit about where he is and what he's doing. He's in a safe place, surrounded by good people who genuinely care about him—perhaps even more than he realizes himself. We're a group who sees value in each other's lives, inspired by the spirit of support found in Philippians 2:3. We're all rooting for him, celebrating his progress and feeling for him when he's down on himself.
Your husband has shown remarkable honesty with us, the kind that only comes when someone feels truly accepted and secure. Our discussions dive deep into meaningful topics, and he's right there with us, sharing openly and trusting the group. He occasionally reaches out to check in or to share a struggle, reinforcing the importance of mutual support and the healing power of confession. I hope you feel a sense of pride in his journey.
He's demonstrated a strong character, openly discussing his challenges and showing a sincere commitment to improvement. He's sought out positive influences and wise advice, and we're all committed to supporting him in any way we can.
As a son of God, he's working on deepening his faith and reliance, learning to balance effort with trust in divine support. His attempts to live up to expectations, sometimes trying too hard, are a testament to his desire to grow and improve.
In speaking of you, his respect and love are evident. He speaks highly of you, grateful for your grace and support. It's clear he values you immensely, and any disrespect is unimaginable in our gatherings. He aspires to be the husband you deserve, Faithful and True and better than any country song you hear on the radio.
I consider your husband a dear friend, brought into my life for a purpose. My affection and prayers extend to him, as well as to you and your family, especially during times of need. His commitment to bettering himself for you and your family is admirable and not something every man is willing to undertake.
Thank you for supporting him in his journey with us. It's evident how much he cherishes you. Please continue to stand by him. He’s a kind soul who greatly appreciates your partnership. Rest assured, his Tuesday night friends hold him in the highest regard.
Warm regards,
A Tuesday Evening Friend
Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,"
Dear Mrs. X,
I hope this note finds you well. You might sometimes wonder what exactly your husband is up to on Tuesday evenings. I'm writing to share a bit about where he is and what he's doing. He's in a safe place, surrounded by good people who genuinely care about him—perhaps even more than he realizes himself. We're a group who sees value in each other's lives, inspired by the spirit of support found in Philippians 2:3. We're all rooting for him, celebrating his progress and feeling for him when he's down on himself.
Your husband has shown remarkable honesty with us, the kind that only comes when someone feels truly accepted and secure. Our discussions dive deep into meaningful topics, and he's right there with us, sharing openly and trusting the group. He occasionally reaches out to check in or to share a struggle, reinforcing the importance of mutual support and the healing power of confession. I hope you feel a sense of pride in his journey.
He's demonstrated a strong character, openly discussing his challenges and showing a sincere commitment to improvement. He's sought out positive influences and wise advice, and we're all committed to supporting him in any way we can.
As a son of God, he's working on deepening his faith and reliance, learning to balance effort with trust in divine support. His attempts to live up to expectations, sometimes trying too hard, are a testament to his desire to grow and improve.
In speaking of you, his respect and love are evident. He speaks highly of you, grateful for your grace and support. It's clear he values you immensely, and any disrespect is unimaginable in our gatherings. He aspires to be the husband you deserve, Faithful and True and better than any country song you hear on the radio.
I consider your husband a dear friend, brought into my life for a purpose. My affection and prayers extend to him, as well as to you and your family, especially during times of need. His commitment to bettering himself for you and your family is admirable and not something every man is willing to undertake.
Thank you for supporting him in his journey with us. It's evident how much he cherishes you. Please continue to stand by him. He’s a kind soul who greatly appreciates your partnership. Rest assured, his Tuesday night friends hold him in the highest regard.
Warm regards,
A Tuesday Evening Friend
Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,"
A Love Letter From Our Addiction
Oct 21, 2023
by GYE
Dear Friend,
I have come to visit once again. I love to see you suffer mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. I want to make you restless so you can never relax. I want to make you jumpy, nervous, and anxious. I want to make you agitated and irritable so everything and everybody makes you uncomfortable.
I want you to be confused and depressed, so that you can't think clearly and positively. I want you to feel guilty and remorseful for the things you have done in the past and you'll never be able to let go of. I want to make you angry and hateful toward the world for the way it is and the way you are. I want you to feel sorry for yourself and blame everything but me for the way things are. I want you to be deceitful and untrustworthy and to manipulate and con as many people as possible. I want to make you feel fearful and paranoid for no reason at all. I want to make you wake up all hours of the night screaming for me. You know you can't sleep without me, I'm even in your dreams. I want to be the first thing you think about every morning and the last thing you think about before you black-out.
I'd rather kill you, but I'd be happy enough to put you back in the hospital, another institution, or jail. But you know that I'll be waiting for you when you get out. I love to watch you slowly go insane. I can't help but sneer and chuckle when you shiver and shake; when you freeze and sweat at the same time; when you wake up with the sheets and blankets soaking wet. It's amusing to watch you ignore yourself; not eating, not sleeping, not even attending your personal hygiene.
Yes, it's amazing how much destruction I can be to your internal organs while at the same time working on your brain, destroying it bit by bit.
I deeply appreciate how much you are sacrificing for me. The countless good jobs you have given up for me; all the friends that you deeply cared for, you gave up for me.
And what's more, the ones you turned yourself against because of your inexcusable actions. I am eternally grateful, especially for the loved ones, family and the more important people in the world that you have turned yourself against. You threw even those away for me!
But do not despair, my friend, for on me you can always depend. After you have lost all these things, you can still depend on me to take even more. You can depend on me to keep you in living HELL, mind, body, and soul. For I will not be satisfied until you ARE DEAD, my friend.
Forever Yours,
Your Addiction
A Riddle
Sep 07, 2023
What am I?
_I am gross and perverted_
_I’m obsessed and deranged_
_I have existed for years_
_But very little has changed_
_I am a tool of the government_
_And industry too_
_For I am destined to rule_
_And regulate you_
_I may be vile and pernicious_
_But you can’t look away_
_I make you think I’m delicious_
_With the stuff that I say_
_I’m the best you can get_
_Have you guessed me yet?_
_I’m the slime oozing out_
_From yourtv set inter-net_
I'm The Slime from the 1973 album Over-Nite Sensation by Frank Zappa and The Mothers.
_I am gross and perverted_
_I’m obsessed and deranged_
_I have existed for years_
_But very little has changed_
_I am a tool of the government_
_And industry too_
_For I am destined to rule_
_And regulate you_
_I may be vile and pernicious_
_But you can’t look away_
_I make you think I’m delicious_
_With the stuff that I say_
_I’m the best you can get_
_Have you guessed me yet?_
_I’m the slime oozing out_
_From your
I'm The Slime from the 1973 album Over-Nite Sensation by Frank Zappa and The Mothers.
The Slime
by CD
Once upon a modern dreariness, nestled between the flickering shadows of yesterday and the blinding lights of the future, television transformed. That magical box that united families, kindled imaginations, brought stories from all over the world, and invited us to laugh, think and wonder together had morphed, – a chameleon darkened by the passage of five short decades.
In the beginning, its glow was a beacon, drawing in weary souls seeking solace, laughter, and dreams. It was a communal hearth where stories danced like flames, enlightening minds and warming hearts. But as the years rolled by, the vibrant hues of creativity and unity faded into a monochromatic haze.
What used to be a source of joy and unity turned into something ugly. The era of enlightenment decayed into the age of excess. Television, once the dreamweaver, became the dreamstealer. It transformed oh so gradually into a siren, luring viewers with the promise of escapism, only to slime us as portrayed by Frank Zappa and The Mothers.
The screen, once a window to worlds unseen and voices unheard, became a mirror, reflecting and magnifying society's most poisonous underbelly. It reveled in the sordid dance of reality unbound by ethics and we ate it up, slowly turning us into zombies by the process of osmosis.
God has been forgotten and replaced with “I am God. I can solve all of my own problems.” Television nudged that agenda along. Truth was its first casualty followed by the sacrifice of human dignity. Gone were the days of gentle lessons and heartfelt connections. In their stead rose a buffet of chaos, confusion, and shock value. Sensationalism sat enthroned, crowned by apathy.
As the clock ticks toward another uncertain dawn, the television– coupled with the exponential wickedness of the internet, stands, a monument to what was and a warning of what is. It is the Pandora's box of a new era, unleashing untold ills under the guise of enlightenment as we are bombarded with reality shows that make us cringe and news that paralyzes us with anxiety. Walter Cronkite must be rolling over in his grave.
Yet hope—dim and distant—remains. For in the hands of the conscious, the remote wields the power to switch off, to awaken from the trance, and to remember the stories worth telling, those that unite rather than divide, illuminate rather than obscure, heal rather than harm.
SRV Quote
Aug 16, 2023
“I’d like to talk to you all for a second if I can, cause you know basically I got to start off thanking God that I'm alive and well enough to be with you today, and that all is as well as it is. You see, less than two years ago I found myself in a real bad situation; I found myself down on the ground, and I couldn't get up, and I mean I was trying, and I couldn't. All I'm telling you about is...you see I thought I could stay at the party forever. It don't work that way, 'cause that shit’ll kill you. That stuff will kill you. What I'm asking you to do is just stay away from them drugs and things, 'cause what they do is they eat you inside out, you know. They make you forget about those people that you really love, and they make you run from love, 'cause you can't stand how good it looks. I'm asking you to take care of yourselves, so you can be there for your brothers and sisters when they need you. Are you with me?”
Stevie Ray Vaughan 1987
One Slip
Apr 15, 2023
"One Slip" by Pink Floyd, from their 1987 album "A Momentary Lapse of Reason." It's a song that dives into the themes of chance encounters leading to unintended consequences, reflecting on how a single moment can alter the course of one's life, especially in the context of adulterous relationships.
Songwriters: David Gilmour, Phil Manzanera
A restless eye across a weary room
A glazed look and I was on the road to ruin
The music played and played as we whirled without end
No hint, no word her honour to defend
I will, I will she sighed to my request
And then she tossed her mane while my resolve was put to the test
Then drowned in desire, our souls on fire
I led the way to the funeral pyre
And without a thought of the consequence
I gave in to my decadence
One slip, and down the hole we fall
It seems to take no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason
That binds a life for life
A small regret, you won't forget
There'll be no sleep in here tonight
Was it love, or was it the idea of being in love?
Or was it the hand of fate, that seemed to fit just like a glove?
The moment slipped by and soon the seeds were sown
The year grew late and neither one wanted to remain alone
One slip, and down the hole we fall
It seems to take no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason
That binds a life to a life
The one regret, you will never forget
There'll be no sleep in here tonight
Songwriters: David Gilmour, Phil Manzanera
A restless eye across a weary room
A glazed look and I was on the road to ruin
The music played and played as we whirled without end
No hint, no word her honour to defend
I will, I will she sighed to my request
And then she tossed her mane while my resolve was put to the test
Then drowned in desire, our souls on fire
I led the way to the funeral pyre
And without a thought of the consequence
I gave in to my decadence
One slip, and down the hole we fall
It seems to take no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason
That binds a life for life
A small regret, you won't forget
There'll be no sleep in here tonight
Was it love, or was it the idea of being in love?
Or was it the hand of fate, that seemed to fit just like a glove?
The moment slipped by and soon the seeds were sown
The year grew late and neither one wanted to remain alone
One slip, and down the hole we fall
It seems to take no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason
That binds a life to a life
The one regret, you will never forget
There'll be no sleep in here tonight
Flush the Cache
Aug 22, 2022
Is it possible to completely remove the recall of lust from my mind? Not the content, necessarily because I don't want legitimate memories to go as well. What I'm talking about is the search and find function of certain memories and automatic head turning when a lustful sight passes in front of me. I don't want to continue thinking immoral thoughts first thing when I wake up till last thing on my mind when I go to sleep.I Can't Quit You Baby
Jun 24, 2022
There are a few different versions, the lyrics below from Led Zeppelin I, 1969.
"I Can't Quit You Baby" Lyrics by Willie Dixon.
I can't quit you babe
So I'm gonna put you down for awhile
I said I can't quit you baby
I guess I gotta put you down for awhile
Said you messed up my happy home
Made me mistreat my only child
Yes you did baby!
Said you know I love you baby
My love for you I could never hide
Oh, you know I love you baby
My love for you I could never hide
When I feel you near me little girl
I know you are my one desire
When you hear me moaning and groaning, baby,
You know it hurts me deep down inside
When you hear me moaning and groaning, baby,
You know it hurts me deep down inside
Oh, when you hear me, honey, baby,
You know you're my one desire
Yes, you are
The Confessor
Dec 11, 2020
Lyrics by Joe Walsh
At just over 7 minutes long, The Confessor meets my first requirement of an epic piece of rock and roll. It also strikes me as two compositions in one - the first half is gentle in a dreamlike state then stops and switches to hard and angry (kind of like the way Tina Turner introduced Proud Mary). Another observation of the music itself is that the song seems to have two different drum parts. Can you distinguish between the conventional drums and an electronic set? The electronic is played in the first half, but sort of muffled. Conventional drums take over the start of the second half and they are intermingled toward the end. The electronic is a little more echoey. If you know what to listen for, it's definitely there.
Something else I learned is about the cover artwork. It is a slight edit of a painting called "Zwei Männer in Betrachtung des Mondes" by Caspar David Friedrich, which translates to "Two men contemplating the moon". Perhaps what they are contemplating in this instance, is the real Joe Walsh. Walsh has been pretty open with his relationship with addiction and maybe this album is his confession, and a window into his true self.
The recounting starts off slow and melodic with building electronic keyboards and some very clear 12-string guitar. With an eye of wonder the singer begins reflecting on life and how reality may not be what it seems. Could he be painting a picture of the deception that leads a person down the road to addiction?
At mid point there is an interlude of silence, followed by a change of time signature, pace and realization as if it is twenty years later. The intensity picks up as the singer, having lived life, made horrible mistakes, reached a crossroads and now wants to tell us what the real world is like. The overall tone is "You better listen to what I'm saying - I'm telling you the truth". Over a driving, yet simple solo drumbeat, he goes on to describe how it feels (as the confessor) to admit the exact nature of our sins to God, ourselves and another human being. God knows you. You know you. You can't lie. You're completely naked and humiliated. This is rigorous honesty. Yes, it's brutal, but necessary to be The Confessor.
Then the Rock and Roll kicks in - which is why we put this record on. We are treated to a minute and a half jam session of guitar work and percussion of the previously mentioned two drum sounds. Be sure you have it turned up loud now as it builds to a crescendo of screaming guitar licks blaring an audio picture of how the addiction became overwhelming. The mood seems to calm for a second, but then the singer passionately scolds and reminds us with a whole list of repercussions that have a grip on us and keep us in bondage. He pleads for us to let go.
When it's over, it's over (the song, not the addiction). At some point, you have to make up your mind to give it up.
The Confessor
If you look at your reflection in the bottom of a well
What you see is only on the surface
If you try to see the meaning, hidden underneath
The measure of the depth can be deceiving
The bottom has a rocky reputation
You can feel it in the distance
The deeper down you stare
From up above it's hard to see
But you know it when you're there
On the bottom words are shallow
On the surface talk is cheap
You can only judge the distance by the company you keep
In the eyes of the confessor
In the eyes of the confessor
There's no place you can hide
You can't hide from the eyes (of the confessor)
Don't you even try
In the eyes of the confessor
You can't tell a lie
You cannot tell a lie (to the confessor)
Strip you down to size
Naked as the day that you were born
Naked as the day that you were born
Take all the trauma, drama, comments
The guilt and doubt and shame
The what if's and if only's
The shackles and the chains
The violence and aggression
The pettiness and scorn
The jealousy and hatred
The tempest and discord
And give it up!
Comments System WIDGET PACK
A Prayer For My Brothers
Oct 27, 2020
O Lord, please have mercy on this band of brothers I love, good men and your children. For any who are hurting or may be in a crisis tonight, holy Father I would ask for a measure of comfort, of relief from the pain, encouragement and a touch from you that is loud enough to hear and gentle enough to soothe the paralyzing fear. I pray for hope, even a ray of sunlight in their future. Please walk beside us dear Father and carry my brother across this river of hopelessness he may be drowning in.
I pray for families who have been hurt, O Lord please heal those wounds and I thank you in advance that the pain would be eased and the godly relationships that you desire would be put together again better and stronger than ever before. Father God I ache for these precious people whose world has crashed down upon them through no fault of their own and weep with them but know that You are still the King and are still in control, all hope rests in You and your compassion. You can heal, and I plead with you to intercede and heal these deep scars and broken hearts.
Father, if trust could ever be restored, it is because You have interceded. If You choose to save marriages, praise your holy name, if you put us through a season of suffering, we trust you and Your will be done.
I pray for myself that I will have a heart of compassion and consider my brothers sufferings more important than my own temporary inconveniences. As I have seen you work a miracle in my own life, turning a sinner into a servant, please put it on my heart to have a real concern and check on my dear friend and be a friend who cares and loves.
Heal my brother, O Lord. Heal his body and his mind, heal his heart and may his desire shift from things of the world to being controlled by the Spirit. May this walk we are experiencing teach us what you want us to know and glorify the name of God. The victory is Yours!
In Christ name I pray, Amen.
I pray for families who have been hurt, O Lord please heal those wounds and I thank you in advance that the pain would be eased and the godly relationships that you desire would be put together again better and stronger than ever before. Father God I ache for these precious people whose world has crashed down upon them through no fault of their own and weep with them but know that You are still the King and are still in control, all hope rests in You and your compassion. You can heal, and I plead with you to intercede and heal these deep scars and broken hearts.
Father, if trust could ever be restored, it is because You have interceded. If You choose to save marriages, praise your holy name, if you put us through a season of suffering, we trust you and Your will be done.
I pray for myself that I will have a heart of compassion and consider my brothers sufferings more important than my own temporary inconveniences. As I have seen you work a miracle in my own life, turning a sinner into a servant, please put it on my heart to have a real concern and check on my dear friend and be a friend who cares and loves.
Heal my brother, O Lord. Heal his body and his mind, heal his heart and may his desire shift from things of the world to being controlled by the Spirit. May this walk we are experiencing teach us what you want us to know and glorify the name of God. The victory is Yours!
In Christ name I pray, Amen.
Spark Plugs
Aug 24, 2020
Do you have any of these? Coffee cans of old spark plugs? Have you ever thought about why you refuse to let these go? What do you need to throw out? (And I'm not really talking about spark plugs)
Restless
Aug 02, 2020
Restless from the 1978 album You're Gonna Get It! by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Written by Tom Petty
Is this song about a sex addict? That's your call, but one thing's for sure, Restless by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers rocks!
"Restless"
I don't need to belong to no one
I don't belong at all
Got my face in the corner
Got my back to the wall
And pretty baby I'm restless, restless
Restless through and through
I'm restless restless
You look restless too
I'm a hair trigger lover
And I can't face up to nothing
I'm impatient with the wind
But I'm waitin' here for somethin'
And pretty baby I'm restless, restless
Restless through and through
I'm restless restless
You look restless too
Restless sleep, twisted dreams
Moving targets, silent screams
Restless city, restless steets
Restless you, restless me
I'm a face out the window
I'm a black satin sheet
And I can't stay warm
I stay out in the street
And pretty baby I'm restless, restless
Restless through and through
I'm restless restless
You look restless too
False Idols and Gods
Jun 19, 2020
At first glance, you would think the false god an addict is running to is the addiction. On deeper introspection, I think that the god I was running to was myself, because the end result of all the fantasies was that I was the hero. I was the savior. I made everyone else feel good about making me feel good. I am the false god.
Might As Well Face It, You're Addicted
Mar 13, 2020
Our first Classic Song is from 1986, Robert Palmer's Addicted To Love. This song is pretty relevant if you read it and could qualify as a letter from Your Addiction. Fill in the blanks with your own addictive behavior.
Lyrics by Robert Palmer
Your lights are on, but you're not home
Your mind is not your own
Your heart sweats, your body shakes
Another _____ is what it takes
You can't sleep, you can't eat
There's no doubt, you're in deep
Your throat is tight, you can't breathe
Another _____ is all you need
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to _____.
You see the signs, but you can't read
You're running at a different speed
Your heart beats in double time
Another _____ and you'll be mine, a one track mind
You can't be saved
Oblivion is all you crave
If there's some left for you
You don't mind if you do
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to _____.
Might as well face it, you're addicted to _____ (x5)
Your lights are on, but you're not home
Your will is not your own
You're heart sweats and teeth grind
Another _____ and you'll be mine
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to _____.
Might as well face it, you're addicted to _____ (x7)
Lyrics by Robert Palmer
Your lights are on, but you're not home
Your mind is not your own
Your heart sweats, your body shakes
Another _____ is what it takes
You can't sleep, you can't eat
There's no doubt, you're in deep
Your throat is tight, you can't breathe
Another _____ is all you need
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to _____.
You see the signs, but you can't read
You're running at a different speed
Your heart beats in double time
Another _____ and you'll be mine, a one track mind
You can't be saved
Oblivion is all you crave
If there's some left for you
You don't mind if you do
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to _____.
Might as well face it, you're addicted to _____ (x5)
Your lights are on, but you're not home
Your will is not your own
You're heart sweats and teeth grind
Another _____ and you'll be mine
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to _____.
Might as well face it, you're addicted to _____ (x7)
YouTube
Why You Won't Talk About Sexual Issues With Your Partner
Mar 13, 2020
-From Psychology Today, Oct. 20, 2018. Written by David Ludden Ph.D.-
Finding the courage to push your relationship forward.
Conflict is inevitable in relationships. You’d like to save more money for the future, but your partner would like the two of you to get more enjoyment out of life now. You think your partner is too strict with the kids, but your partner thinks you’re too lenient. You think you already do more than your fair share of the work around the house, but your partner thinks you don’t do enough. Or else, they’d rather you did different chores from the ones you’re used to doing.
Couples frequently have fights about issues like these, and often they can find solutions to these disagreements. At the very least, when they talk their problems out, they have a better understanding of their partner’s preferences. But there’s one area of conflict that too many couples avoid discussing at all costs, namely differences in sexual desire.
Plenty of research shows that couples who have open conversations about sexual issues are also more satisfied with their relationships. However, too many people would rather put up with an unhappy sex life than have that dreaded conversation. Why are so many people afraid to communicate their sexual needs to their partner? This is the question that Canadian psychologist Uzma Rehman and her colleagues explored in a recent study of conflict communication in couples.
Conflict communication is always difficult, largely because we’re motivated to avoid negative emotions. Tempers get raised, and feelings get hurt. Just as we avoid going to the dentist despite a toothache, we avoid talking with our partner about sensitive issues. So we let problems fester.
With non-sexual problems in the relationship, we tend to reach a tipping point after which we let it all come out. Arguments can be healthy for a relationship, especially when the discussion remains focused on the issue at hand and doesn’t devolve into slinging insults and pushing each other’s buttons.
But even couples who are reasonably good at resolving other types of conflict get stuck when it comes to discussing sexual problems in the relationship. Instead of communicating our preferences and inquiring about our partner’s, we rely on cultural scripts that tell us how the sex act is supposed to play out. Despite our urge for a break from the routine, we keep our fantasies to ourselves. No wonder our sex lives get stale after years of marriage.
Past research has shown that couples avoid conflict communication, because they perceive it as threatening in three different ways:
• Threat to relationship. People fear the conflict discussion will irreparably damage the relationship. In other words, they value their relationships even when they’re not happy ones. So they’d rather say nothing than risk a conflict that might improve it, but might also tear it apart.
• Threat to partner. People fear the conflict discussion will hurt their partner’s feelings. That is to say, they care about their partner’s welfare even when they’re not happy with the way their relationship with them is going. Again, they’d rather muddle through than make their partner feel uncomfortable, even at a chance of making things better.
• Threat to self. People fear the conflict discussion will make them vulnerable. If they reveal too much about themselves, they worry that their partner will disapprove of them or try to make them feel shame. We need our partner’s approval, and the fear of losing it is a major reason why people avoid talking about sensitive issues in the first place.
In their study, Rehman and colleagues asked people in committed relationships to imagine themselves in a conflict situation with their partner. The scenario involved either a non-sexual issue about sharing housework or a sexual issue about the frequency of intimacy. Afterward, the partners responded to a questionnaire that measured sense of threat to relationship, partner, and self. On the one hand, the results showed that sexual conflicts are similar to non-sexual conflicts, in that all three types of perceived threat were high. On the other hand, sexual arguments resulted in even higher levels of perceived threat to self than did non-sexual confrontations.
In short, this study showed that the main reason why people avoid talking with their partners about sexual issues is because they view such a discussion as threatening to themselves. Based on responses in this study and others, we can point to some reasons why couples stay away from discussions about intimacy issues.
First, in North American culture, sex is viewed as an embarrassing topic of conversation, so we avoid talking about it altogether. Or else we relieve the uneasiness by turning sexual discussions into jokes. Even within committed relationships, we tend to view sex as naughty and not to be talked about.
Second, sexual education is woefully inadequate in the United States. Many Americans are simply ignorant about sexual anatomy — both their own and their partner's. Although we have cultural scripts about how the sexual act is supposed to work, few of us understand the full breadth of sexual activities that humans engage in. So we have neither the concepts to understand our sexual urges nor the vocabulary to communicate them to our partner.
Because of our embarrassment and ignorance when it comes to sexual matters, we feel especially vulnerable revealing our secret fantasies to our partners. Since we think our desires are weird, we assume our partner will feel the same about them. Furthermore, our urges seem to arise from our innermost core, and we feel we have no control over them. When we dare to reveal secret fantasies only to have them rebuked, we feel that our partner has rejected us as we truly are. So we’d rather keep up the pretense instead.
People who have the courage to discuss intimacy issues with their partners are generally happier in their relationships. But learning to overcome a lifetime of embarrassment about sex and developing a proper sexual vocabulary takes effort. There’s plenty of self-help here on the pages of Psychology Today and elsewhere on the internet or in your local bookstore. Couples therapy can also be effective at resolving intimacy issues.
Conflict is inevitable in relationships, and issues of intimacy are among the hardest of all to confront. And yet, conflict itself isn’t a sign that the relationship is in trouble. On the contrary, if both partners approach the discussion with a desire to resolve the issue, the relationship will be strengthened as a result.
Finding the courage to push your relationship forward.
Conflict is inevitable in relationships. You’d like to save more money for the future, but your partner would like the two of you to get more enjoyment out of life now. You think your partner is too strict with the kids, but your partner thinks you’re too lenient. You think you already do more than your fair share of the work around the house, but your partner thinks you don’t do enough. Or else, they’d rather you did different chores from the ones you’re used to doing.
Couples frequently have fights about issues like these, and often they can find solutions to these disagreements. At the very least, when they talk their problems out, they have a better understanding of their partner’s preferences. But there’s one area of conflict that too many couples avoid discussing at all costs, namely differences in sexual desire.
Plenty of research shows that couples who have open conversations about sexual issues are also more satisfied with their relationships. However, too many people would rather put up with an unhappy sex life than have that dreaded conversation. Why are so many people afraid to communicate their sexual needs to their partner? This is the question that Canadian psychologist Uzma Rehman and her colleagues explored in a recent study of conflict communication in couples.
Conflict communication is always difficult, largely because we’re motivated to avoid negative emotions. Tempers get raised, and feelings get hurt. Just as we avoid going to the dentist despite a toothache, we avoid talking with our partner about sensitive issues. So we let problems fester.
With non-sexual problems in the relationship, we tend to reach a tipping point after which we let it all come out. Arguments can be healthy for a relationship, especially when the discussion remains focused on the issue at hand and doesn’t devolve into slinging insults and pushing each other’s buttons.
But even couples who are reasonably good at resolving other types of conflict get stuck when it comes to discussing sexual problems in the relationship. Instead of communicating our preferences and inquiring about our partner’s, we rely on cultural scripts that tell us how the sex act is supposed to play out. Despite our urge for a break from the routine, we keep our fantasies to ourselves. No wonder our sex lives get stale after years of marriage.
Past research has shown that couples avoid conflict communication, because they perceive it as threatening in three different ways:
• Threat to relationship. People fear the conflict discussion will irreparably damage the relationship. In other words, they value their relationships even when they’re not happy ones. So they’d rather say nothing than risk a conflict that might improve it, but might also tear it apart.
• Threat to partner. People fear the conflict discussion will hurt their partner’s feelings. That is to say, they care about their partner’s welfare even when they’re not happy with the way their relationship with them is going. Again, they’d rather muddle through than make their partner feel uncomfortable, even at a chance of making things better.
• Threat to self. People fear the conflict discussion will make them vulnerable. If they reveal too much about themselves, they worry that their partner will disapprove of them or try to make them feel shame. We need our partner’s approval, and the fear of losing it is a major reason why people avoid talking about sensitive issues in the first place.
In their study, Rehman and colleagues asked people in committed relationships to imagine themselves in a conflict situation with their partner. The scenario involved either a non-sexual issue about sharing housework or a sexual issue about the frequency of intimacy. Afterward, the partners responded to a questionnaire that measured sense of threat to relationship, partner, and self. On the one hand, the results showed that sexual conflicts are similar to non-sexual conflicts, in that all three types of perceived threat were high. On the other hand, sexual arguments resulted in even higher levels of perceived threat to self than did non-sexual confrontations.
In short, this study showed that the main reason why people avoid talking with their partners about sexual issues is because they view such a discussion as threatening to themselves. Based on responses in this study and others, we can point to some reasons why couples stay away from discussions about intimacy issues.
First, in North American culture, sex is viewed as an embarrassing topic of conversation, so we avoid talking about it altogether. Or else we relieve the uneasiness by turning sexual discussions into jokes. Even within committed relationships, we tend to view sex as naughty and not to be talked about.
Second, sexual education is woefully inadequate in the United States. Many Americans are simply ignorant about sexual anatomy — both their own and their partner's. Although we have cultural scripts about how the sexual act is supposed to work, few of us understand the full breadth of sexual activities that humans engage in. So we have neither the concepts to understand our sexual urges nor the vocabulary to communicate them to our partner.
Because of our embarrassment and ignorance when it comes to sexual matters, we feel especially vulnerable revealing our secret fantasies to our partners. Since we think our desires are weird, we assume our partner will feel the same about them. Furthermore, our urges seem to arise from our innermost core, and we feel we have no control over them. When we dare to reveal secret fantasies only to have them rebuked, we feel that our partner has rejected us as we truly are. So we’d rather keep up the pretense instead.
People who have the courage to discuss intimacy issues with their partners are generally happier in their relationships. But learning to overcome a lifetime of embarrassment about sex and developing a proper sexual vocabulary takes effort. There’s plenty of self-help here on the pages of Psychology Today and elsewhere on the internet or in your local bookstore. Couples therapy can also be effective at resolving intimacy issues.
Conflict is inevitable in relationships, and issues of intimacy are among the hardest of all to confront. And yet, conflict itself isn’t a sign that the relationship is in trouble. On the contrary, if both partners approach the discussion with a desire to resolve the issue, the relationship will be strengthened as a result.
Stop the Presses
Feb 21, 2020
I always wanted to say that.
An earth shattering revelation has occurred to me. I know I need to take every thought captive, but those thoughts have always filled a big hole in my life. I would not know what to do without them and I would be completely lost. There would be a lot of empty air time in my life if every immoral thought was tossed out the window, as I would need to spend a few minutes staring into space until the next thought came along and I tossed it as well.
The solution of course is to have one of the many life projects we all have, but don't have time to do, at the ready and pick it up and run. Plenty of things have been neglected, and I need to be prepared, with a dose of discipline and a quick prayer to throw out the thought and get busy with the project. Wow, just think of the things that could be accomplished using the time wasted on destructive thoughts.
With a little bit of planning, things could change drastically. I'm going to give it a try.
An earth shattering revelation has occurred to me. I know I need to take every thought captive, but those thoughts have always filled a big hole in my life. I would not know what to do without them and I would be completely lost. There would be a lot of empty air time in my life if every immoral thought was tossed out the window, as I would need to spend a few minutes staring into space until the next thought came along and I tossed it as well.
The solution of course is to have one of the many life projects we all have, but don't have time to do, at the ready and pick it up and run. Plenty of things have been neglected, and I need to be prepared, with a dose of discipline and a quick prayer to throw out the thought and get busy with the project. Wow, just think of the things that could be accomplished using the time wasted on destructive thoughts.
With a little bit of planning, things could change drastically. I'm going to give it a try.
Happiness is a Warm Gun
Feb 13, 2020
"Lust is the craving for salt in a man who is dying of thirst"
- Frederick Buechner
- Frederick Buechner
